The Best and Worst of the Oscars, 2013

 

 

Well folks, it was an interesting year to say the least. While the Academy Awards (or, I'm sorry, they've decided that title is too stuffy for today's 'hip, modern culture,' so 'The Oscars') is normally a stodgy affair of self congratulation on behalf of beautiful wealthy people everywhere, last night's event was something of a debacle. As with all debacles, it had some highlights, and some extraordinarily low points. Something tells me that those who loved it really loved it, and those who hated it (and those people are definitely there) are going to recall it as The Worst Oscar Telecast in History... Except for That Year James Franco Hosted. And that, my friends, is saying something.

 

 

BEST: Christoph Waltz' Speech

In the first award for the evening, Christoph Waltz took home his second Best Supporting Actor award for his role in a Quentin Tarantino film, this time for his role in 'Django, Unchained.' (The first was for his part in 'Inglorious Basterds.') Ever the humble artist, Christoph promptly took the stage and named off his fellow nominees (Robert DeNiro, Tommy Lee Jones, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Alan Arkin) and bowed to them. He praised their work and how honored he was to be mentioned amongst their names. This is fairly standard, but Christoph's speech was so sincere and so humble that it was refreshing to hear, and it started the awards off on a very pleasant note.

 

WORST: Many of Seth McFarlane's Jokes

The Academy has no one to blame but itself for this one. McFarlane, best known for being the creator of and major voice talent of Family Guy, and the recent comedy smash 'Ted,' has made a living making meta jokes about boobs, farts, and being offensive to generally everything and everybody, and he brought every bit of that to the Oscar stage. As a big fan of Family Guy, I can say that every joke aligned perfectly- every line McFarlane uttered could very well have been one of his cutaways, including his miserably long intro with William Shatner. Not to say that it wasn't funny- lots of the bits were funny. However, in true McFarlane form, they were also sexist, racist, misogynistic, and spiteful, and they created an overall sense of awkwardness that never really went away. But with McFarlane, what can you expect? To the Academy: if you want someone to make Billy Crystal-style jokes that aren't super funny, but don't bother anyone, bring Billy Crystal back next year. You can take the man out of Family Guy, but you can't take Family Guy out of the man.

 

 

BEST: The Music (Specifically Adele)



There was a theme this year- music, and there was an awful lot of it in the (painfully long) telecast, but at least the music was generally very good. Adele, nominated for Best Original Song for 'Skyfall' from the new James Bond film of the same name (and ultimately, the winner of that award,) stole the show when she belted out her soulful ballad with ease and elegance. She received a standing ovation, and lighthearted and irreverant as always, seemed to be having a great time. She's halfway to the coveted EGOT Triumph, meaning she's on her way to having been awarded an Emmy, a Golden Globe, an Oscar, and a Tony. She's got her Globe and her Oscar- Emmy and Tony can't be far behind.

 

WORST: The Boob Song

Oh, the horrifying awkwardness of this song. McFarlane started the evening by setting the entire room against him in a Song-and- Dance number (Seth loves those) all about seeing actresses' boobs in movies, rattling off names and films while singing (inexplicably) with the Los Angeles Gay Men's Choir. Many of the women mentioned were sitting in the room, and their expressions ranged from horror to straight up rage.

 

Let's go left to right, shall we? Jennifer Lawrence was briefly mentioned for being one of the only women in Hollywood, apparently, whose boobs we have not seen (and judging by her reaction, she's quite proud of that fact.) Charlize Theron, on the other hand, seems not so much embarrassed as vindictive (I'd bet money she keyed McFarlane's car after the show.) However, the award for Most Awkward Reaction definitely goes to Naomi Watts, whose facial expression ranged from shock to disbelief to utter humiliation within a span of just a few seconds. It's ok to show your boobs in Hollywood- apparently, you're just crossing a line when you sing about it on live television in front of 7 million people.

 

BEST: Daniel Day Lewis

The most method-y of method actors, Daniel Day-Lewis made history last night when he accepted his third award for Best Actor in a Leading Role, becoming the first actor in Hollywood to ever do so. Normally a serious, gracious, and thoughtful person, he delivered what could really be called the first real joke of the evening. He received his award from fellow acting legend Meryl Streep, and quipped offhandedly that he was originally set to play Margaret Thatcher, and that Meryl was set to play Lincoln, and he would have really liked to see that version. The audience roard at this- it was a joke that was inoffensive, self-deprecating, and done with courtesy. Who could have thought? However, my favorite moment was when he acknowledged his wife of 16 years (and his method work) by saying, "My beautiful wife has been married to quite a lot of different men since she married me. Fortunately, she is the perfect mate and true love of all of them." Aww!

 

WORST: Anne Hathaway

Before awards season, Anne Hathaway was generally considered one of the more likable actresses in Hollywood. She's bubbly, cute, and an undeniably talented performer. When she won her Best Supporting Actress award for her role in Les Miserables, no one doubted that she'd earned it. The only concern was her speech- what babbling, pretentiously-cute thing was she going to say? Thus far, she's made herself quite the punchline through the season, from referring to her Golden Globe as a 'lovely blunt object to fend off self doubt,' was bad enough, so what was she going to do now? Thankfully, she (or her publicist) seems to have gotten wind of the general dislike (or Hatha-Hate, as the internet in its wit has deemed it), and she toned it down. However, she had to start off with a simpering, syrupy remark. As she received her award, she said quietly, "It came true!" Thanks, Anne. You dreamed a dream, we get it. Stop trying to be so cutesy and quirky. You don't do 'humble and bashful' very well, it seems fakey. Don't try so hard. You should be more easy going,  more sincere, more like....

 

BEST: Jennifer Lawrence

Oh, Jennifer Lawrence. Everyone loves you, because you are so gosh darn easy to love. Though she has been racking up awards left and right throughout this season, she has remained irreverant, humble, and hilarious. There is zero pretense about her- she doesn't pretend to be world-weary and wise, like many other actors in her position. She makes no qualm about being utterly delighted by everything, and her natural presence has the world rooting for her. She started the evening by catching up with some of the pre-awards banter and when a journalist asked her how she was feeling, she replied candidly, "Hungry. I've been so busy I didn't have time for a sandwich today. Is there food here?" If that werent' enough, she further endeared herself to the public when she climbed the stairs to receive her Best Actress award for her work in Silver Linings Playbook... and promptly fell on her face. The huge dress she was wearing was hazardous after all, and for a moment she just lay there on the stairs, and the whole could hear her thought process as she lay there: "....damn." When Hugh Jackman and Bradley Cooper rushed over to help her, she jumped up without their help, as if she were thinking, "I got it, I got it, damn it. I was just laying there because I fail at life." The audience rose to their feet when she finally accepted her award, and the happy and honest 22-year old quipped, "Thank you, but I know you're all only standing because you feel sorry for me because I fell." She then delivered an adorably starstruck-and-yet-sincere speech, including making a point to wish fellow nominee Emmanuelle Riva a happy birthday, and then danced off the stage, taking the hearts of the world with her. And speaking of dancing....

 

BEST: Les Miserables Ensemble

 

Keeping with the theme of music, the whole cast of Les Miserables took the stage to sing a brief medley of the films most memorable tunes, and they brought down the house. Hugh Jackman started with the original song 'Suddenly,' and then the rest of the cast joined in for a rousing, beautiful rendition of the musical's tour-de-force mid number, "One Day More." While musical numbers are quite common at award shows, particularly the Oscars, it is very rare for one to be this big or this good, and the cast completely delivered. Powerful, moving, and extraordinarilly well done, this big production number was one to remember, and the most enjoyable moment of the whole affair.

 

I'm already looking forward to next year!