My Top 20 Favorite Game of Thrones Moments

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Game of Thrones Season 6- Character Catchup

      It's April 1st! That means that the new season of Game of Thrones is only 24 days away! Seven blessings upon us and all hail the Lord of Light! It feels like it's been a long, long time since poor Jon Snow was fatally (??) stabbed in the chest by the Night's Watch (including that little twerp Olly), and not a day has gone by since the Season 5 finale aired that I haven't seen some sort of fan theory about Snow. Will he return from the dead? Will it be because of Melisandre and the Lord of Light's magic? Or, will the Lord of Light come in the form of Beric Dondarrion and the Brothers without Banners? If he does come back, will it be as a human? And if he does come back as a human, will he be "lesser" than he used to be, as Beric Dondarrion claims? Or even better, WILL HE COME BACK AS GHOST, HIS DIREWOLF? And if so, will Bran warg into him?! THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS.
     While Jon may indeed be coming back, there are several other casualties of last season whose fates are more certain: Shireen Baratheon is certainly not coming back from the fiery grave her father sent her to, and it's unlikely that Stannis Baratheon survived the sword to the face that Brienne served him last season. House Baratheon is effectively ended as of this season, making the giant wheel that Daenerys intends to break one spoke weaker. Myrcella Baratheon (Lannister) died in her Uncle/Dad's arms on their boat ride from Dorne, so Cersei is certainly down one more child/neice. And Mance Rayder, the regal and intimidating leader of the Wildlings, likely will not be returning from his simultaneous roasting/arrow through the heart. So we're down some noble characters, but I'm sure more will rise from the ashes. For now, let's catch up with the characters we are expecting to see this season, and make some guesses for what fates await them.

       If you were to ask me which characters I most fear for this season, I would say Margaery and Loras Tyrell. When we last saw Margaery, she was rotting in a cell awaiting trial by the High Sparrow for perjury, after lying under oath when asked if she knew of her brother Loras' "unnatural inclinations." Loras, whose homosexuality has long been an ill-kept secret of King's Landing, is also in prison, but hasn't been seen by the viewers since he was hauled away. I greatly like Margaery and Loras, and want both to walk away from this season unscathed, but Thrones isn't that type of show. As Tyrion quipped several seasons ago, "If you think this is going to end happily, you haven't been paying attention." If Margaery and Loras have to go (and I fear they do,) King's Landing and the Queen Regent will have to face the fiery wrath of wealthy, prickly Grandma Tyrell, whose money is more or less keeping the people of King's Landing from starving. I feel that if Margaery and Loras are murdered on the alter of their "sins," with full sanctioning from Cersei, Lady Olenna's might will show in its full course, and the Seven Hells help anyway who gets in her way.

      When we last saw Sansa Stark and Theon "Reek" Greyjoy, they were both battered survivors of Ramsay Bolton's cruelty and abuse. Poor Theon is a shell of the man he formerly was, brainwashed and beaten half out of his mind, and though he was definitely due some sort of comeuppance for his role in betraying the Starks, to my mind he has more than paid for those crimes, and some redemption on his part would be a welcome relief. Sansa, for her part, has been slowly progressing from a timid, fearful little girl to a strong woman, and despite enduring one of the most unbearable scenes of sexual assault ever seen on the show (which says a lot) found the courage to jump over the castle wall with Theon while Ramsay was away attacking Stannis' army. The final shot of them in the Season 5 finale featured the two hand in hand, in a Romeo and Juliet sort of embrace, leaping from the castle wall. We don't know the outcome of that fall (it seems inconceivable that they would walk away entirely uninjured) but my guess is that they will head toward the Wall, under the belief that Jon Snow is there. (Remember, Ramsay mentioned to Sansa last season that Jon had become Lord Commander.) If they make it to the Wall, it will be yet another infuriating scene of the Stark children barely missing each other, with Jon's death so recent. Does this mean that Sansa and Theon will encounter White Walkers? That would be quite a twist. Or, perhaps Theon and Sansa will begin journeying toward the Iron Islands, to be reunited with Balon and Yara Greyjoy? Will this end with the Greyjoys in open rebellion against the Boltons? We'll see!

     Way back in Season 1, Cersei and Jaime Lannister were the closest thing we had to a "traditional" love story (and it speaks to how unique Thrones is that our "love story" was between incestuous twins.) Since then, war and separation and the death of a son/nephew have pulled them apart and left a cold rift between them. Jaime's long absence due to being captured by Catelyn Stark left Cersei feeling abandoned, however irrationally, which she never recovered from, and the loss of his strength and ability- his sword hand- makes him more useless to her than before. And of course, there was the ltitle matter of Joffrey. Dying at his own wedding, in full view of his King's Guard/Uncle/Dad, destroyed what remained of Cersei's affection for Jaime. When she sent him to Dorne last season, I believe it was for two reasons: to get him out of her way so she could run King's Landing as she liked, and also to give him a task to prove himself. Bring Myrcella back to her, prove his worth and strength again, and do it without your sword hand.
     Well. Needless to say, Jaime's mission to Dorne was less than successful. He did in fact bring the Princess back, but, well...she's dead, so I doubt that's what Cersei had in mind. Another of her three children gone, buried in the golden shroud promised to her by Maggy the Frog so long ago. I'm most looking forward to the scene in Season 6 when Jaime has to explain himself, but also has to hear and see what Cersei has been through. As of now, he has no clue that by arming the Faith Militant, Cersei brought along her own downfall, ending in that horrible but amazing to watch march through King's Landing, naked and humiliated. These two have a lot to catch up on, to say the least. How will they react? Will they immediately murder all them members of the Faith Militant? (I would.) Also, Jaime has brought with him Prince Trystane of Dorne, who until now was coming as a goodwill ambassador, but now can be used as vengeance. Does this mean Dorne will be in all out war, as Ellaria Sand hoped? 

   Season 5 was quite a big one for Arya Stark, the scrappiest of the Stark girls. She began last season hoping to become an assassin among the Faceless Men, but found that "becoming no one" was harder and less fulfilling than it seemed at first. Much has been made of the importance of your name as part of your identity. Sansa spent last season rising to the nobility of her birth as a Stark (such as her great telling-off of Myranda in the bathtub: "I'm Sansa Stark of Winterfell, and you can't frighten me.") Arya has similarly had trouble shedding her name and history, and when she abandoned a mission set forth by the Many Faced God in order to graphically murder Meryn Trant, who has been on her Kill List since Season 2, she faced a serious consequence: blindness. It's hard to tell where the Faceless Men plot will go from here- it was frankly hard to follow it last season too- but now Arya's blind. Does that mean that she'll finally adapt to being "no one?" Or will it make her cling to her name and history harder than ever? Also, will she come across another person on her list? Who else could be going to Braavos sometime soon? Ah, what might be. 

       King Tommen's brief reign has been full of serious ups and downs. He got to lose his virginity to his queen, Margaery, which I'm sure was amazing (as he stated, "This is all I want to do, all day, every day, for the rest of my life.) But, he's also been a small, naive pawn between two powerful women who have their claws dug into him: Queen Margaery, eager to be rid of her overbearing mother in law, and Queen Regent Cersei, who is quite eager to be rid of her smug daughter in law and not at all eager to be sent back to Casterly Rock. It's quite a lot for a 13 year old King who just wants to play with his cat and get laid to deal with. And THEN, to make matters worse, both of these women get put in jail and he has no authority to do anything about it. You can't help but feel sorry for Tommen, but frankly, I'm also eager for him to be a casualty of this season. With all the Baratheon/Lannister children dead, and no other heirs to the Throne, King's Landing would be plunged into a serious tumult, leaving a space wide open for, say, Daenerys Targaryen to ride in on a dragon and take over. Will Tommen make it to Season 7? I seriously doubt it, but we'll see.

   Speaking of Daenerys, her subplot took a seriously unexpected turn at the end of last season. Having narrowly escaped murder by the Sons of the Harpy, after a tumultuous year of learning that ruling is significantly harder than conquering, Daenerys now finds herself in a faraway field with a sleepy dragon and a hoard of Dothraki horseriders. I have literally no prediction for how this will go. Surely the Mother of Dragons will want to return to Meereen, if only because her other two dragons and her army of Unsullied are there. This will be one subplot that will keep me guessing all the way to the end, I'm sure (and hopefully, unlike the silly Dorne subplot of last season, will actually be fully thought out and entertaining.)

Golden Globes 2016: Red Carpet Report Card

       I LOVE the Golden Globes- it's like the boozy, white trash cousin of the Academy Awards, and everyone treats it as such. That's not necessarily a bad thing; while the Academy Awards prides itself on being stuffy and stiff and Super Ridiculously Serious, and spends tedious amounts of time on categories that are worthy of being recognized (like Sound Design and Makeup) but aren't entertaining to watch on television, the Golden Globes shamelessly indulges in celebrities themselves. Every year, the Hollywood Foreign Press does its best to corral as many A-list celebrities into one champagne-soaked room as it can, and the results are always entertaining, particularly with an irreverent host at the helm.
     Of course, it's the red carpet fashion that most people care about, so here we go: here are my favorite (and some of my least favorite) red carpet dresses from the 2016 Golden Globes.

Hollywood's most prominent and celebrated redheads, Julianne Moore and Amy Adams, tied for my favorite looks of the night. Both chose dresses that complimented their hair and skin tones beautifully, and both chose classic silhouettes that were both timeless and daring. If I had to choose a favorite, I'd lean toward Adams- she always manages to look subtle, feminine, elegant, and positively perfect.

The reviews for Viola Davis' dress have been mixed at best, but I say "haters to the left." The gorgeous nominee looks like the night sky and she looks radiant and sexy and I love it.

Saorise Ronan and Lily James both opted for white Grecian inspired gowns, and they both absolutely rocked the red carpet (with Saorise heading out Lily by just a step or two.)

All the commentators were abuzz about Jennifer Lopez's yellow cape dress, but to my rather eyes, it was a bit over the top and silly. It was America Ferrera who owned the sunny shade this year, and it looked exquisite on her. 

Kate Hudson's dress reminds me of the infamous nude bodysuit Britney Spears wore so many years ago (complete with 90s-inspired choker,) but DAMN THOSE ABS. You do you, girl.

Kate Winslet is one of my personal style icons. She knows how to dress herself, always choosing simple silouettes and bold colors, often with minimal makeup and hair. Like a true icon, she knows what works and sticks to it, and this royal blue gown is one of my favorites of the night. 

Emmy Rossum, at the Globes to promote and support her television show "Shameless," looked positively shameless in a radiant red gown that looked like it was painted on her. Gorgeous!

I'm calling this category, "Women Who Look Perfect, But Whose Husbands Bring Down Their Perfection." Jenna Dewan-Tatum, on the left, is gorgeous in her royal blue, sparkly gown, but normally-flawless hubby Channing Tatum's unfortunate hair brings it down a notch. (What IS that thing? Is he doing bangs?) For Olivia Wilde, who almost always looks stunning, the crimson gown is perfect. It's Jason Sudeikis' dorky tennis shoes that ruin the full effect.

Just as a reminder, Lady Gaga was the person who showed up at the Grammy's in a large egg just a few short years ago. These days, she has classed it up quite a lot, and last night she channeled Marilyn Monroe in a dramatic, but altogether classic, black gown. 

The stars of the much-lauded film "Carol" both fall into one category: "Stars Whose Style Isn't Even Remotely Like Mine, But Who Wow Me Every Time Anyway." Even for someone who tends to favor the classic over the avante-garde, Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett always manage to knock my socks off, and these lacy, pale-hued dresses do just that. Cate's look is more elegant, more formal, more vintage inspired, and Rooney's is shredded, edgy, younger, and defiantly rock and roll. I love them both.

Lots of stars "took the plunge" on the red carpet, with cleavage and low-cut dresses being the theme of the night, but few made it look as effortless as Joanne Froggatt, whose watercolor-blue dress looked timelessly elegant on her.

And now onto the WTF portion of the night..

Best Impersonation of a Disney Princess: Amber Heard.
The pink, the flowers, the fairy-ish color palette and cut. Not only is this dress not remotely sexy, it also looks both too young and too frilly to be taken seriously. 

Best Impersonation of Batman: Emilia Clarke
On Game of Thrones, Emilia Clarke has the best costumes, bar none, and since she's the Mother of Dragons, it's to be expected. But her red-carpet style is always just one step off of fashion forward and a little too close to "just don't own a mirror." In this cape dress, she looks remarkably like the Caped Crusader (and not really in a good way.) 

Not Sure if Too Old, or Too Young for This Dress: Gina Rodriguez
Gina Rodriguez is a gorgeous girl, but this poofy blue dress both seems fit for a much younger actress (say, someone Jacob Tremblay's age,) AND Much too old for her at the same time. Gina, you're beautiful and perfect and only in your twenties- save the ball gowns for tea parties and senior adult benefit balls.

Jane Fonda could have rocked that ball gown, no doubt, and frankly, is old enough and successful enough that she can wear whatever the hell she wants, but this whipped-cream concoction was an.... interesting choice, to say the least.

I love you, J. Law. I really do. But for your sake, I hope this contract with Dior runs out soon. The panels, the side slits, the big choker... ugh. 

Rachel McAdams apparently snatched down her mother's curtains and made a dress, a la Maria von Trapp. Interesting choice, I suppose. 

And finally, the most egregious offender on this list: Katy Perry. It's not Katy Perry's cleavage I object to- God knows, her "Golden Globes" are perfect and she should show them off. It's the pale, dusty color that does nothing for her, the frumpy cut, and worst of all, the weird-half-bumpit hair. Katy... what? Do better, Katy. Do better. 

Game of Thrones, Season 5- Character Review and Superlatives

         It's hard to explain to anyone who doesn't watch "Game of Thrones" just how good, how painful, how gratuitous, how spectacular it is without feeling like you're still underselling it. With the scope of a big-budget Hollywood blockbuster, but the fascinating characters and taught pacing of its novels, "Game of Thrones" has become all but the biggest, grandest show on television, and increases its numbers of rabid fans every year. It isn't without its share of controversy- in fact, it may well be one of the most controversial television shows ever, and has frequently come under fire (just this season, in fact,) for its graphic and often pointless depictions of rape, its excessive nudity and horrific violence, and its seeming use of women as props for the development of male characters. Despite this, or perhaps in some sense because of it, the show has flourished and continued telling its detailed, intimate, multifaceted story for the last 5 seasons.

         "Thrones" established from its first season that it was different from most television shows as far as its handling of the main characters. When Ned Stark lost his head in Season 1, it felt unprecedented. Not only was he clearly and obviously "the good guy," but he was ON THE FREAKING POSTER. He was the LEAD, played by a Hollywood celebrity. Many didn't believe he was actually deadd- I certainly didn't. Most shows don't axe off their main character in season one and then carry on telling the story of individuals who had seemed until now to be side characters. Since then, it has become clear that Ned Stark's death was not the main story, but the device that sets a much larger, much grander story in motion. There is no "good guy," and there is no clear winner. All the characters have goals and obstacles in the way of those goals, and watching all these lives work together, through destruction, war, abuse, and horror, as they hurtle toward one final crescendo, is positively fascinating.

          After a relatively dull Season 4 (by Thrones standards, anyway) Season 5 came back roaring into full dragon mode, complete with controversy, violence, and of course, the deaths of several characters who, until now, have been considered central to the plot. Every season of "Thrones" has at its core a central idea that most of the characters are struggling with. This season, many of our main characters (Jon Snow, Stannis Baratheon, Daenerys Targaryen, and Cersei Lannister, specifically,) have been learning a hard lesson: that conquering and ruling are not one and the same, and that the former is significantly easier than the latter. Let's review the season, shall we, and see what they learned?

Best Use of Plot Device: The Flashback

             Until the first episode of this season, "Thrones" didn't do flashbacks. There was much hullabaloo and speculation this season, once it was announced that there would be a flashback scene, that the flashback in question would contain Ned Stark, making his first appearance since losing his head in Season 1. Not so- this flashback belonged to Cersei Lannister, who is shown in the season's opening scene as a bratty, self assured teenager bossing her friend around. This was not only our first glimpse of the Lannister home, Casterly Rock (or at least its... forest), but our first view into something book readers have known for years: Cersei, as power hungry as she is, has always been driven by a terrible prophecy once given to her by a fortuneteller, Maggy the Frog. In the flashback, Young Cersei badgers Maggy into telling her future. Maggy concludes that Cersei will bear 3 children, and that they'll all have "golden crowns, and golden shrouds," and that, though she will be queen, she will only be queen until another, younger and more beautiful, comes to cast her down and take everything she holds dear. This does explain Cersei's merciless dislike of Margaery Tyrell, as well as her obsessive protection of her children. All mothers want to protect their children at all costs, but Cersei's has always bordered on fanatic, and now we know why- she's expecting their deaths at any moment. Which brings us to...

Most Useless Subplot: Jaime's Mission to Dorne- 

       In every season of "Thrones," there at least half a dozen plots running at once, and though most of them hit all the right notes, there are always at least 2 that land with thuds. This season, Brienne and Podrick's subplot came close, but the subplot involving Jaime and Ser Bronn being sent to Dorne to bring Princess Myrcella home was the biggest waste of good talent. Despite the likability of Jaime and Bronn, their chemistry never really connected, and it never felt that there was any real reason for them to be there, other than simply giving Jaime some excuse to get out of Cersei's way. Much of the plot was spent with a character who used to be significant (Ellaria Sand, bitter and pissy, but remarkably unthreatening), and three characters who were hyped as being really effective and badass (The Sand Snakes) who were actually pretty useless. Oberyn Martell's snappy daughters were introduced as a real threat to Jaime and Bronn, but in reality, said 20 lines between them all season and didn't actually hurt anyone. (But of course, despite their overall incompetence, the showrunners still found a way to get one of them naked.) There was some speculation that Jaime would die in Dorne, but nope- the outcome of the entire Dorne plot is that Myrcella is dead, Jaime has officially failed at protecting yet another child (something Cersei certainly will not take well) and Prince Trystane is bound for Dorne. Is war on the horizon? Of course it is.

Best Mix of Hilarious and Uncomfortable- Tommen and Margaery's Wedding Night
        As heavy and depressing as Thrones can be, it always finds some way for us to laugh- either because something is actually funny, or because it's awkward. This season, we were treated to a scene that was both- the consummation of the marriage of 13 year old King Tommen, and Queen Margaery (played by actual-30 something Natalie Dormer.) Fortunately, "Thrones" spares us the actual act itself (phew!) and shows us the aftermath- a glowy eyed pubescent Tommen gasping with joy after losing his virginity to his much more experienced, much older wife. He then parrots a line that I'm sure all teenage boys think after their first sexual experience: "This is all I want to do every day, all day long." 

Most Confusing Plot- Arya Stark and The House of Black and White

       Arya Stark has consistently been a fan favorite, and most viewers were unanimously excited to see her travel to Braavos to become a trained assassin with the Faceless Men. However, the showrunners weren't too anxious to clue us in on exactly what the House of Black and White is. It looks amazing- halls of faces, presumably of dead people, as well as a team of mysterious workers who claim to serve the Many-Faced God. But after a whole season and several searches on Google, I'm still not sure at all what the actual function of the whole establishment is. It was a cool plot, and anything that ends with Arya stabbing Ser Meryn Trant in the eyeball is well spent, but I'd be lying if I said I still don't have a lot of questions.

Most Improved Plotline- Jon Snow, the Night's Watch, and the White Walkers
         Until this season, I have no shits to give about The Wall. For the last four seasons, it has been the weakest plot with the most uninteresting characters, and I have always felt that all the action screeched to a halt any time the members of the Watch were on screen. Before Season 5 began, I was rooting for Jon Snow to die this season and let us be done with it. Ironically, Jon Snow did die this season, and after the remarkable season he had, when he finally rose to real leadership, after we finally saw the true threat of the White Walkers, and after the mopey boy he's been for 4 seasons rose to be a strong man, I am sorry that he's gone. (Don't listen to me anymore, D&D!) Jon may have gone out during the season finale, his blood pooling in the snow after being murdered by his fellow Crows, but he left behind a remarkable season. From his bold act of mercy with Mance Rayder (more on that in a moment,) to his bravery in the face of an oncoming hoarde of White Walkers, Jon Snow was without a doubt the MVP of Season 5. Kit  Harington, who plays Jon Snow, has definitively said he is not returning for Season 6 and that Jon is dead. However, there are many theories about how dead is dead- will Melisandre resurrect him with the power of the Lord of Light? Will he return as a White Walker? Here's hoping!

Most Moving Death- Mance Rayder, "The Wars to Come"
       Don't send your dragons after me just yet! Hear me out. While most people would say (with a lot of good reason) that the most wrenching death of the season was poor Shireen Baratheon, whose own father tied her to a stake and set her ablaze in his hopes to procure his own victory. Make no mistake: I sobbed like a baby over the loss of Shireen, and the screaming agony that her father put her through. However, the most moving and thematically important death, in my mind, was that of Mance Rayder, the king of the Wildlings, who faced his own funeral pyre with a sort of unpitying, self-collected dignity. Stannis Baratheon offered him a very good deal- he could join align with Stannis and offer his people for Stannis' army, and in return, Stannis would offer them land, safety, and their lives. Mance kindly but firmly refuses to bend his knee. He believes it more important to stand true to his ideals and to not offer up his people without their consent than it is to live, even when faced with the agony of a death by fire. The scene is brutal to watch- the camera stays tight on Mance's anguished face and his bitten lip, trying desperately not to scream or cry and die with dignity. When Jon puts an arrow through his heart, it's an act of mercy that sets Jon up as a traitor. In that way, Jon steps forward as a strong hero, which he has never been before, and like the death of Ned Stark, the death of Mance Rayder sets in motion a much larger, much more important story.

Most Impressive Rise (and Fall) of a Character: Stannis Baratheon

       The Battle of the Five Kings would not have been the same (or nearly as gripping) without Stannis Baratheon, the dour, militaristic older brother of King Robert Baratheon. He has been fighting for his claim to the Iron Throne since Season 2, when he was defeated miserably in the Battle of Blackwater Bay. After his defeat, he spent about 2 whole seasons moping around his large dinner table and roasting people alive at the behest of his charlatan mistress Melisandre, who claims to speak for the Lord of Light. Of all the warring rulers hoping to earn the throne, Stannis seems to be the best bet. He's protective of those in his charge and takes ruling seriously. In Season 4, when the Night's Watch frantically calls for help against the Wildling invaders, Stannis is the only one who comes to their aid, despite having the smallest army and the most to lose. Stannis is a man of practice- fair, but disciplined, strong, stubborn, but protective. One would not automatically peg him as the religious fanatic type. The difference is that Lord of Light has made himself known- Melisandre used the Lord of Light's divine magic to snuff out his enemies, notably his brother Renly, and therefore, feels that betting on the Lord of Light is a safe bet. Things go well for Stannis most of this season- he makes from Castle Black with an army in tow, and is headed to Winterfell, where he hopes to trounce the Boltons and recruit the Northmen for his army. Unfortunately, however, the Lord of Light doesn't seem to be enough. After sacrificing his only daughter, whom he loves more than he will openly admit, Stannis finds himself abandoned by his troops (turns out roasting your own daughter alive doesn't inspire ardor and devotion in the hearts of soldiers) and Melisandre, who hightails it back to Castle Black as fast as she can go. He also loses his wife Selyse, who, despite being possibly the Worst Mother in Westeros, cannot bear to live after the death of her daughter.

      Stannis' decision to burn Shireen is set up from the beginning, but seems too horrific to be true, mostly because of one small scene early in the season in which Stannis tells his daughter the story of her birth, and how it was he who accidentally caused her to be marked with Greyscale by giving her a poisoned toy. Though he never admits openly that he loves her, in his own gruff way it becomes very apparent, and the audience feels instant sympathy with this pragmatic, hard, but loving man... so much so that we as the audience develop a bit of amnesia about his history. We forgot that he has been setting people on fire at Melisandre's behest, including his own brother in law, since the beginning. There's no way he can be the fair ruler that he wants to be and feels himself to be- he doesn't feel any qualms about killing people in a horrific way if the act is a mean to his end. After his small army is quickly slaughtered by the large Bolton one, Stannis is left to be killed by a woman he has never even met- Brienne of Tarth, here to avenge the murder of Renly Baratheon. Stannis doesn't fight her- he just says matter-of-factly, "Do your duty." His was a truly fascinating journey- oh, what might have been.

Best New Character- The High Sparrow
          Religious zealotry was a huge theme across Westeros this season- the Sons of the Harpy in Meereen, the Faceless Men in Braavos, Melisandre and Stannis with the Lord of Light, and the Faith Militant in King's Landing. The latter is unique in that it rose to prominence entirely by the short-sighted authority of the Queen Regent, Queen Cersei (but we'll get to that later.) The leader of the Faith Militant, the High Sparrow, was a fascinating addition to the cast because there has been no one like him so far. Humble, unambitious, and yet persuasive, the High Sparrow is a leader most of Westeros can get behind... so long as they don't commit any sins. He longs to return to a simpler time of faith, piety, and humility, before the septs were adorned with gold and silver, before the High Septons were found in brothels fornicating with prostitutes dressed as goddesses, when alters were made of simple wood by pious hands. When Cersei hands him the key to rooting out sin, he does just that. The main aspect of his character that is so confounding to the power players in Westeros is that he doesn't want material things. Lady Olenna, until now the most formidable force in the seven kingdoms, offers him more gold than he could ever spend, titles, lordships, anything he wants. He doesn't want it. He doesn't seek power in the traditional sense, and he doesn't seek money or pleasure. He wants to restore righteousness, and once handed the keys to do so, exercises it to his full ability. I imagine we'll see a good deal more of the High Sparrow in Season 6, during the trials of Cersei, Margaery, and Loras, and I hope at some point we find the chink in this holy mans' armor- if he has one. 

Most Uninspired Character Death

         When Myrcella Baratheon resurfaced in Dorne after being absent for three seasons, the world collectively said, "Oh. I remember her." And when she rather unceremoniously died after a poisoned kiss from Ellaria Sand, the world responded with similar apathy: "Meh." Myrcella's brief time as a figure in Dorne used her mostly as a plot device rather than a character. The delicate, beautiful princess in love with her prince and her adopted homeland existed pretty much to a) give Jaime somewhere to go, b) fulfill another fearful part of Cersei's dreaded prophecy, and c) to start a war between Dorne and Westeros. She lived just long enough to finally hear the truth about her parentage, and she took it pretty well- that whole "your parents are actually brother and sister and you are a bastard child of incest and your mother is your aunt and your father is also your uncle" barely phased her. I believe her death was meant to strike a note of great tragedy, with Jaime having just felt his first pangs of fatherly love for his child, but mostly it was just empty. And nothing of value was lost that day.

Most Satisfying Meeting- Daenerys Targaryen and Tyrion Lannister

       Book purists be damned- Daenerys and Tyrion in the same room was a gift from the Lord of Light himself, and I absolutely loved it. This was a battle of two sharp wits, and the tension (and mutual admiration) in the room was tangible. Tyrion, drunk and in full "talk my way out of trouble" mdoe, and Dany, making sure her queenly authority is in place, had two different conversations about what they can do for each other, with Dany even calling on Tyrion's advisement about what to do with Ser Jorah. This was a scene fraught with crackling dialogue and excellent tension, and gave me a lot of hope about any further encounters they would have together. (Unfortunately, Daenerys flew away on a dragon just an episode later and my hopes were dashed.) 

Most Controversial Moment: The Rape of Sansa
            Every season of Game of Thrones has its "talked about" moment, where the critics and audience are left with even more to chew on then normal. Many of these moments center in some way around rape- the show has been often criticized- justly- about its use of rape as a plot device, and its excessive, graphic showings of the violence its female characters face on a daily basis. When Sansa Stark married brutal sociopath Ramsay Bolton, we all collectively shuddered, but we couldn't have been prepared for the torturous scene to follow. Poor, abused Sansa, who has suffered so much with such dignity and courage, was horrifically raped. Even for Thrones, it seemed a low blow, and many swore the show off for good after the incident.
          For my personal take, I found it to be one of the least terrible rape scenes the show has ever done. Don't get me wrong- it was terrible. The ending of the show literally made me feel sick. However, my problem with Thrones isn't that it features rape frequently, it's that it features it thoughtlessly. So many female characters on the show are assaulted or threatened with assault when there seems to be no reason for it. There is no payoff, there is no reason for it. It's just something that the show uses to remind us that the world is scary, and that women are treated terribly.
         For contrast, let's talk about last season's controversial rape scene, which the showrunners didn't think was a rape scene at all. This one featured Jaime and Cersei, on the day of their son's funeral- right next to his corpse, actually. Though they are lovers, Cersei has been very cold to her brother since his return from captivity, and through their mutual grief, they connect with each other again. When Cersei attempts to pull away, repulsed by his golden hand, Jaime cries, "Why have the gods made me love a hateful woman?" He then pulls her into a passionate embrace, as she tries to pull away and clearly cries no. "It's not right!" she screams. "It's not right!" He pulls her to the ground and repeatedly says, "I don't care," over and over and over. Clearly, this is a rape scene. It definitely is. And it comes out of nowhere. Jaime has been on redemption road as a character, and we were beginning to really root for and sympathize with him. Then, all of a sudden, he rapes his sister next to the corpse of his son/nephew. And then, it was never spoken of again or addressed. A drive-by assault, if you will.

       When controversy broke out over the abruptness and pointlessness of the violence against Cersei, the showrunners were dumbfounded. They legitimately did not believe they had written a rape scene, instead believing that they had written a passionate love scene. They insisted that Cersei did in fact want to have sex with Jaime, and that it "became consensual by the end." NO. That is not how it works.
       In this case, we have seen since season two that Ramsay Bolton is a monster. He is a sociopath who enjoys flaying and burning people, has tortured Theon Greyjoy to the point of being a shell of his former self, and has a truly sick love of exerting power over others. He is ruthless, cold, and cruel in a way that Joffrey only dreamed of. There is zero room for him to be anything other than a monster to Sansa. It makes perfect sense that, once he has acquired his beautiful, highborn bride, that he would exert dominance over her and bully her into submitting totally to him right away. Was the scene nauseating and terrible to watch? Absolutely. Did it make narrative sense? Yes- unlike the rape of Cersei, which heretofore has never been mentioned again by either character and seems to have had zero impact on Cersei, the rape of Sansa is both earned, and traumatic. It changes who she is, and gives her the courage to make a break for it once and for all. This existed for a reason in the story, and that's what makes this horrifying scene worth it in my mind. But then, of course, that is entirely my perception.

   

My Favorite Films About Love

        Ah, Valentine's Day. It's a day that single people loathe and people in relationships enjoy/feel a lot of pressure over. I must admit, I am a total romantic at heart- I love love, and I love movies and stories about love. However, I'm also cynical- spare me your pandering Nicholas Sparks tripe about star-crossed teenagers frolicking on picturesque beaches. I have no time for all that. I want love, and I want love in its most intelligent, heartfelt, non-pandering form, or I want it to be a straight up Disney fairytale or musical. Here are my top 7 favorite movies about love!

Ever After

Ever After is one of those films that I keep expecting to outgrow, but somehow I never do. It is a retelling of the Cinderella story, which is cliche in itself, but it somehow manages to sidestep any of the more tedious portions of the tale, and brings a whole new- and yet shamelessly romantic- story to light. Cinderella (here named Danielle,) is played by Drew Barrymore as a modern woman in Renaissance-era France. Despite being chronically used and abused by her wicked stepfamily, Danielle is intelligent, well-read, compassionate, and a great contemporary thinker, and through a series of events finds herself under the eye of Prince Henry, a restless royal who finds his life of duties and expectations suffocating. Unlike in most versions of the story, Danielle and Henry are given time to grow and learn to love one another; they bicker, they irritate each other, and yet they are entirely enthralled by each other. Lush and beautiful, yet entirely modern in its retelling, this fairytale is one it seems will always enchant me. 

Blue Valentine

When I say I like movies about love, I don't necessarily always mean the "happily ever after" type of love. There is a place and time for that; however, I'm also interested in love that doesn't end well. Love is a finicky thing, and often, when love is built on mistakes, personal failures, and violated expectations, it doesn't end quite as planned. Such is the case with Blue Valentine, an interpersonal drama starring Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams as a pair of broken people who fall hopelessly in love as young adults, but whose love turns to disappointment and resentment as time wears on. At the beginning, Dean (Ryan Gosling,) is a hopeless romantic, singleminded and determined, but not ambitious. Cindy (Williams,) is an insecure person whose history has damaged her, and though she initially isn't charmed by Dean, begins to fall for his friendliness and easy nature. They marry under circumstances that are not promising, and within 10 years, they have drifted apart. Dean is unemployed, lazy, and has completely let himself go. Cindy is the breadwinner, overstressed and always tired, who has lost faith in her intelligent but unambitious husband. Watching them fall apart is fascinating, and also disheartening. Love can fail. It's unfortunate, but it can, and Blue Valentine is a painful but poignant image of what doomed love is: heartbreaking, slow, and altogether devastating.

Enchanted

Everyone is familiar with the way Disney romances go- a beautiful girl and a handsome boy meet, fall immediately in love, and almost without a word, are whisked away into a happily-ever-after. Enchanted, a clever and insightful Disney film released in 2007, lovingly disarms the old Disney formula while also honoring its legacy, and the result is a charming, funny, genuinely heartfelt film about the limits of fairytale love and the eternal hopefulness of real ones. Giselle (Amy Adams) is a fairytale maiden from an animated world who is about to wed the prince of the land (whom she met the day before,) when she is cursed by a wicked witch (of course!) and banished to a frightening land with "no happily ever afters"- New York City. There she meets Dr. McDreamy himself, Patrick Dempsey, as Robert, a divorce attorney whose negative experiences with love in and out of the workplace have left him a bit soured on romance altogether. They are an unlikely but enjoyable couple, with Giselle's plucky charm and Robert's slowly melting heart as charming a pair as ever was on screen. More to it, it's fun to watch Giselle's growth- she starts out all starry-eyed about romance and believes in 'true love,' which is without anger or sadness or hurt feelings, just blissful, ignorant ever after. When she starts to learn about real relationships, which are often fraught with all those things, she finds them alarming at first, but over time realizes that those things are what makes relationships stronger and more human. Once she loses that innocence, she can't ever get it back, but at the end she appreciates just how powerful a real romance can be.

Crazy Stupid Love

I'm not a fan of most romantic comedies, since most of them are inane, pandering things that rely on cliches and broad characters, but Crazy Stupid Love is a notable exception. Sharp and funny, it's the story that balances multiple characters and their romantic entanglements; from Cal (Steve Carell,) as a thoroughly despondent man whose wife has just left him; his ex-wife Emily, who is balancing her own mixed feelings about her divorce and the attentions of her former lover, with whom she had a brief affair; Jacob, a cool and sophisticated urban bachelor who takes Cal under his wing with aims to spiff him up, so he can win Emily back; and others, all hoping to reunite or be united with their true love. There are lots of excellent stories here, but Cal and Jacob's dynamic is the most enthralling; Cal is in his forties and schlubby; Jacob is a suave 20-something with the world in his hands and beautiful women in his bed. Their relationship is a truly enjoyable one, and the supporting cast, particularly Emma Stone as Cal's college-age daughter, are remarkably good as well. It's a hopeful, heartwarming look at modern relationships and their expectations, as well as being just a plain enjoyable romantic comedy. If you haven't seen Crazy Stupid Love, rent it for your valentine immediately- it's worth every minute.

I am a huge fan of indulging in shameless romance (so long as that romance isn't written by Nicholas Sparks,) and Moulin Rouge is just that. If you happen to be a fan of musicals as well as love stories, Moulin Rouge is practically Nirvana- sweeping romance, endless faith in love, a tragic ending (sniff!), and classic pop tunes redone in a musical style, as well as Baz Luhrmman's theatrical visuals make Moulin Rouge a real treat. It is shamelessly sentimental in its own way, and anyone who grows weary of endless dialogue about love and how awesome it is might want to stay away. But for lovers at heart who crave high emotion and intense passion (or just a really weird rendition of "Like a Virgin" done by a man in a tuxedo with a handlebar mustache,) Moulin Rouge is pretty much everything you could want in a movie. Just be sure to turn it off before the curtain falls... if you want to keep the smile on your face.

Brokeback Mountain

It is truly unfortunate that this masterpiece of a film is often tritely written off as "the gay cowboy movie." It is about two cowboys in love, yes, but to reduce it to simply that makes it sound unimportant and small. This little film is not small; it is not only a masterpiece of a film in presentation and execution, but it is enormously influential. It is the first mainstream romance film marketed as exactly what it is- a passionate, sexual romance between two men who would otherwise be read as straight, red-blooded types, and it forced the public to really consider their stance on the issue. Not much is made of the gay issue within the film; it's a story about two ranchers, Ennis (Heath Ledger) and Jack (Jake Gyllanhaal) who find themselves falling in love with each other in the early 60s, a time when a very hint of homosexuality was taboo and could be life threatening. Jack is the only character that actively seems to be "gay," in our definition of it. He seems more open to the idea than Ennis, the quiet, long-suffering beneficiary of his love. Ennis never reveals his thoughts on Jack until the end; in a truly powerful, heart wrenching performance by the late Heath Ledger, Ennis is a man of few words and many thoughts. He greatly fears his affection of Jack, so much that it renders him near immobile with fear. Through the years, the two men marry women, father children, and go on about their lives, but continue to love each other. It's the story of a love that cannot be, and it ends in just the way that Ennis feared all along. Passionate, moving, and quiet, Brokeback Mountain is a true testament to sacrificial love, and a remarkable portrayal of what love is when it simply cannot speak its name.

Closer

Remember when I said that I don't always like movies where everything ends well? Well all certainly does not end well for these four characters, who all go about attaining, keeping, and losing love in their own way. It's more of a mood piece than a narrative; the film is based on a play by the same name, with only four characters in the entire cast. Together, they take lovers, lose them, betray them and long for others, regret it, and change up again. They do not seem to be people who truly understand love- not sacrificial love, not unconditional love, but love that is self serving. The plot can be slow and hard to follow for some, but for those who like mood pieces with much to say about love, if about nothing else, it can be quite a treat. My favorite part of the film is the dialogue. It's sharp and poignant, dart-like and vague, romantic and hopeless, all at once. "Have you ever seen a human heart? It looks like a fist, wrapped in blood! Go fuck yourself! You writer! You liar!"

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

This is a film that I just has to admit has personal value to me. It's the story of a world where you can erase someone from your memory, as if you never knew them. It's now a profitable business- ex-lovers and neglectful parents can now be wiped away, and you will never feel or remember the pain they inflicted on you. But would it be worth it? Would you trade in the good memories for the chance to erase the ones that aren't so good? That's the question the film raises. It tells the story of Joel (Jim Carrey), a man whose impulsive ex-girlfriend Clementine (Kate Winslet,) has him erased from her memory, and feeling hurt by her lack of hesitance about banishing him from her mind, decides to do the same. In a medically induced deep sleep, he relieves his memories with Clementine one by one, as they are snatched away from him, and halfway through, he realizes that he doesn't want to lose her. Their relationship was tumultuous- she was free spirited, unorganized, artsy, prone to excess, and insecure. He was introverted, thoughtful, resentful, and sometimes neglectful. They fought and didn't always communicate well. This is how real love is- because it is imperfect, does that mean it isn't real? The film itself is remarkable- the visuals are the best I've seen, and it creates a very real world in which what we know and love can be taken away from us at the blink of an eye. Jim Carrey, who has made a name for himself playing absurd characters with huge personalities, is excellently reserved here; if there was ever any doubt he could be a 'real' actor, there isn't now. Clementine is one of my favorite characters ever- she shares a few traits with the typical Manic Pixie Dreamgirl, in that she's creative and quirky and dazzles Joel with her eccentricities. But she is definitely not a MPD; she is deeply flawed on her own, and actively rejects men who use her as a 'concept.' She doesn't exist to give Joel a sense of the wonder of the universe, but rather she exists alongside him as a realistic, broken person just searching for her other half. In truth, Eternal Sunshine is a film I revisit often because I find it soothing; it always allows me to be taken away, and come back refreshed. Memories are painful, but they are part of us, and most of us would rather keep all the ones, even the ones that hurt, than lose them and ourselves in the process.