Thursday, December 15, 2016

2017 SAG Award Nominations


Best Actor in a Leading Role in a Motion Picture

Denzel Washington (Fences)
Casey Affleck (Manchester by the Sea)
Ryan Gosling (La La Land)
Viggo Mortenson (Captain Fantastic)
Andrew Garfield (Hacksaw Ridge)


Best Actress in a Leading Role in a Motion Picture

Amy Adams (Arrival)
Natalie Portman (Jackie)
Emma Stone (La La Land)
Meryl Streep (Florence Foster Jenkins)
Emily Blunt (The Girl on the Train)


Best Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Hugh Grant (Florence Foster Jenkins)
Mahershala Ali (Moonlight)
Dev Patel (Lion)
Jeff Bridges (Hell or High Water)
Lucas Hedges (Manchester by the Sea)


Best Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Michelle Williams (Manchester by the Sea)
Octavia Spencer (Hidden Figures)
Viola Davis (Fences)
Naomie Harris (Moonlight)
Nicole Kidman (Lion)


Best Performance by an Ensemble in a Motion Picture

Moonlight
Manchester by the Sea
Fences
Captain Fantastic
Hidden Figures


Best Actor in a Drama Series
Rami Malek (Mr. Robot)
Sterling K. Brown (This is Us)
Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones)
John Lithgow (The Crown)
Frank Underwood (House of Cards)


Best Actress in a Drama Series

Millie Bobby Brown (Stranger Things)
Winona Ryder (Stranger Things)
Robin Wright (House of Cards)
Claire Foy (The Crown)
Thandie Newton (Westworld)


Best Actor in a TV Movie or a LImited Series
Riz Ahmed (The Night Of)
Sterling K. Brown (The People Vs. OJ Simpson)
John Torturro (The Night Of)
Bryan Cranston (All the Way)
Courtney B. Vance (The People Vs. OJ Simpson)


Best Actress in a TV Movie or Limited Series

Kerry Washington (Confirmation)
Sarah Paulson (The People Vs. OJ Simpson)
Felicity Huffman (American Crime)
Bryce Dallas Howard (Black Mirror)
Audra McDonald (Lady Day at the Emerson Bar and Grill)


Best Actor in a Comedy Series

Anthony Anderson (Blackish)
Jeffrey Tambor (Transparent)
William H. Macy (Shameless)
Tituss Burgess (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt)
Ty Burrell (Modern Family)


Best Actress in a Comedy Series

Uzo Aduba (Orange is the New Black)
Lily Tomlin (Grace and Frankie)
Ellie Kemper (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt)
Jane Fonda (Grace and Frankie)
Julia Louis-Dreyfuss (Veep)


Best Performance by an Ensemble, Drama

The Crown
Stranger Things
Game of Thrones
Downton Abbey
Westworld


Best Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy

Blackish
The Big Bang Theory
Modern Family
Veep
Orange is the New Black











Monday, December 12, 2016

Golden Globes: Acting Nominees 2016


Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
Ryan Gosling (La La Land)** WINNER
Hugh Grant (Florence Foster Jenkins)
Jonah Hill (War Dogs)
Colin Farrell (The Lobster)
Ryan Reynolds (Deadpool)



Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama
Casey Affleck (Manchester by the Sea)** WINNER
Denzel Washington (Fences)
Viggo Mortenson (Captain Fantastic)
Joel Edgerton (Loving)
Andrew Garfield (Hacksaw Ridge)



Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy
Emma Stone (La La Land)** WINNER
Hailee Steinfield (The Edge of Seventeen)
Annette Bening (20th Century Women)
Meryl Streep (Florence Foster Jenkins)
Lily Collins (Rules Don't Apply)


Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama
Natalie Portman (Jackie)
Isabelle Huppert (Elle)** WINNER
Amy Adams (Arrival)
Ruth Negga (Loving)
Jessica Chastain (Miss Sloane)



Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Mahershala Ali (Moonlight)
Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Nocturnal Animals)**WINNER
Jeff Bridges (Hell or High Water)
Dev Patel (Lions)
Simon Helberg (Florence Foster Jenkins)



Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Viola Davis (Fences)** WINNER
Nicole Kidman (Lion)
Naomie Harris (Moonlight)
Michelle Williams (Manchester by the Sea)
Octavia Spencer (Hidden Figures)



Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy
Jeffrey Tambor (Transparent)
Nick Nolte (Graves)
Anthony Anderson (Blackish)
Gael Garcia Bernal (Mozart in the Jungle)
Donald Glover (Atlanta)** WINNER



Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Television Series, Drama
Bob Odenkirk (Better Call Saul)
Matthew Rhys (The Americans)
Billy Bob Thornton (Goliath)** WINNER
Rami Malek (Mr. Robot)
Liev Schrieber (Ray Donovan)


Best Performance by an Actress in a TV Series, Comedy
Julia Louis-Dreyfuss (Veep)
Gina Rodriguez (Jane the Virgin)
Rachel Bloom (Crazy Ex-Girlfriend)
Sarah Jessica Parker (Divorce)
Issa Rae (Insecure)
Tracy Ellis Ross (Blackish) **WINNER


Best Performance by an Actress in a TV Series, Drama
Evan Rachel Wood (Westworld)
Winona Ryder (Stranger Things)
Keri Russell (The Americans)
Claire Foy (The Crown) **WINNER
Caitriona Balfe (Outlander)


Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series, or Motion Picture Made for TV
John Lithgow (The Crown)
Hugh Laurie (The Night Manager)** WINNER
Sterling K. Brown (The People Vs. OJ Simpson)
Christian Slater (Mr. Robot)
John Travolta (The People Vs. OJ Simpson)


Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series, or Motion Picture Made for TV
Lena Headey (Game of Thrones)
Olivia Coleman (The Night Manager)** WINNER
Thandie Newton (Westworld)
Chrissy Metz (This is Us)
Mandy Moore (This is Us)


Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in a Series, Limited Series, or Motion Picture Made for TV
Courtney B. Vance (The People Vs. OJ Simpson)
Jon Turturro (The Night Of)
Bryan Cranston (All the Way)
Riz Ahmed (The Night Of)
Tom Hiddleston (The Night Manager)** WINNER



Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role in a Series, Limited Series, or TV Movie
Sarah Paulson (The People Vs. OJ Simpson)** WINNER
Kerry Washington (Confirmation)
Riley Keough (The Girlfriend Experience)
Felicity Huffman (American Crime)
Charlotte Rampling (London Spy)



Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Favorite Movie Characters- 2016



15) Juno MacGuff (Juno, 2007)

Best Quote: "You should've gone to China, you know, cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events."


14) Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl, 2001)

Best Quote: "Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you have to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid."


13) Hermione Granger (The Harry Potter Series)


12) Stanley Kowalski (A Streetcar Named Desire)

Best Quote: "Now that's how I'm gonna clear the table. Don't you ever talk that way to me. 'Pig,' 'Pollack,' 'disgusting,' 'vulgar,' 'greasy.' Those kind of words have been on your tongue and your sister's tongue just too much around here. What do you think you are? A pair of queens? Now just remember what Huey Long said- that every man's a king, and I'm the king around here and don't you forget it."


11) Miranda Priestly (The Devil Wears Prada 2007)

Best Quote: 


10) Holly Golightly (Breakfast at Tiffany's)


9) The Joker (The Dark Knight, 2008)

     When "The Dark Knight" was released in 2008, it wasn't Batman who brought the crowds. It was the Joker. This may be for any number of reasons. Of course, the first is the most likely cause- the Joker was the famed final completed role of Heath Ledger, who passed away tragically the same year at the age of 28. The casting of the Joker had been something of a Hollywood scandal. All cried foul when the role, previously played to an almost immortal level by Jack Nicholson, was handed off to a blonde, pretty 20-something. However, once the movie debuted, anyone who thought Ledger was a mistake was silenced. Ledger's joker blew Nicholson's out completely out of the water, creating a character all his own and yet still faithful to the comic books, and establishing before his death an instant movie legend. The Joker is far from being an empty comic book villain simply seeking money or world domination. The Joker considers himself a being with a higher purpose- he exists in the world for the same reason Batman does. While Batman is an agent of order and goodness, Joker see himself to be an agent of chaos. He believes fully that human beings do not exist to be solely good, and that at our core, we are a race of people who will turn on each other the moment it becomes convenient. Our morals are socially induced and fraudulent to our animal nature- when the chips are down, we'll give them up easily enough. The Joker finds Batman to be fascinating, with his imposed rules and limits, instead choosing to exist completely without limits in his own way. He has no moral compass and no desires. As Alfred (Michael Caine) notes to Batman, "Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn." Fascinating and complex, brutal and challenging, Heath Ledger's Joker is a villain for the ages, and a character that will go down in movie history as one of the most human (and monstrous) of all time.

Best Quote: "You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve." 


8) Alex Forrest (Fatal Attraction, 1987)


7) Barbara Covett (Notes on a Scandal, 2006)

  "We are bound by the secrets we share," writes Barbara, from her shabby apartment. She is a veritable repository of secrets, and secrets can indeed be seductive. An unmarried woman in her later years, Barbara is a woman who understands loneliness as few people can. She is perennially alone. Prickly and cool, she is generally disliked by her colleagues at the primary school at which she teaches history, and has spent most of her life in a sort of quiet longing. She seems to be a closeted lesbian, and has a history of picking young female teachers to befriend and then becoming obsessed with them. In her mind, they are in a romantic relationship, and these friends should behave accordingly. Such is the case when Sheba Hart joins the school staff. She is young and beautiful, wispy and obviously wealthy. Barbara likes her immediately, and they strike up a friendship. Barbara is remarkably class-conscious, almost to obsession, and is enamored with her apparently high-class yuppie paramour. When Sheba begins an affair with a 15 year old student, she confides in Barbara, and from there, Barbara is placed in a position of power. Sheba must now play by her rules and behave accordingly, or Barbara will go to the police. Barbara is narrating this tale through entries in her journal, her sole pastime, and we get the feeling immediately that her narration is not to be trusted. Though she fancies herself an insightful judge of character, we can tell immediately that these romantic fantasies are the schoolgirl dreams of a teenager, manifested in the cold, lonely mind of an elderly woman. Her love for Sheba seems built entirely on what Sheba could be, not what Sheba is. Barbara is by turns harrowing and sympathetic. We deeply feel for her secretive nature, her complete isolation, but also know that she is being a bully and a stalker. Played by a pitch-perfect Judy Dench, Barbara Covett is both a victim and a perpetrator for the ages.

Best Quote: "People like Sheba think they know what it is to be lonely. But of the drip, drip of the long-haul, no-end-in-sight solitude, they know nothing. What it's like to construct an entire weekend around a visit to the launderette. Or to be so chronically untouched that the accidental brush of a bus conductor's hand sends a jolt of longing straight to your groin. Of this, Sheba and her like have no clue."



6) George Bailey (It's a Wonderful Life, 1946)

     There is perhaps to stronger Christmas classic than "It's a Wonderful Life," "A Christmas Story" be damned. Unfairly written off in current times as empty schmaltz, "Wonderful Life" is a strong portrait of one man who made life choices he hated for the sake of those he loved, and at Christmas, when the year is over and it's time to reflect, there is no better movie to make you feel that it will all be worth it in the end. Jimmy Stewart plays George as a man who wants everything in life- to travel to exotic places, see great things, have lots of money, and "shake the dust off his crummy little town." His is one of those small towns that people who aspire to much loathe, and George definitely loathes Bedford Falls. What he loves, though, is his family, and in the face of adversity, he still remains a principled man. When his father dies and his business is in jeopardy, despite the fact that it helps to improve the lives of common folks throughout the town, George sacrifices his own life dreams to stay behind and help. This is a pattern throughout his life, Every time there is an opportunity for him to cut his losses and pursue his dreams, the devil take the hindermost, he makes the noble decision. His disappointment and resentment build like a cancer on his soul, until one day, due to the sloppy handling of business matters by another staff member, he decides that none of it has been worth it and he may as well end it all. It is only here that George begins to realize (through the intervention of a wingless angel, no less) that his own life, small though it may have been, has been great. He hasn't seen great things, but he has been a great man. Jimmy Stewart's performance here is an absolute master class, traveling from boyhood cockiness to adult despair to redemption smoothly and beautifully. The touching story of George Bailey has been around since 1946, and I have no reason to believe it will seem any less wonderful in 2046. 

Best Quote: "Do you know how long it takes a working man to save $5,000? Just remember this, Mr. Potter, that this rabble you're talking about... they do most of the working and paying and living and dying in this community. Well, is it too much to have them work and pay and live and die in a couple of decent rooms and a bath? Anyway, my father didn't think so. People were human beings to him. But to you, a warped, frustrated old man, they're cattle. Well in my book, my father died a much richer man than you'll ever be!"


5) Amy Elliott Dunne (Gone Girl, 2014)


4) Jo March (Little Women, 1994)


3) Ennis Del Mar (Brokeback Mountain, 2005)

      For many, Heath Ledger's short life was highlighted by two major performances: The Joker, and Ennis Del Mar. The two characters could not be more different. While the Joker is wild and unrestrained, Ennis del Mar, a working class ranch hand in the conservative 1960s, is tight-lipped and cautious. Raised a poor orphan and used to struggling for every mouthful, Ennis is a man who understands work and responsibility, and feels unsentimental about his lot in life. When he begins to fall in love with another man, Jack Twist, the sheer feeling of it frightens him to his core. While Jack openly dreams about opening a ranch with Ennis and having them live out a happy life together in the mountains, Ennis knows better. It isn't safe. He doesn't dare entertain dreams when reality is so difficult as it is. After their first encounter, Ennis lives the rest of his life in a thinly veiled terror, constantly afraid of being uncovered for what he is. He isolates his family from the world and only takes work that will keep him away from the city, much to the bewilderment of his wife Alma. Ennis' relationship with Alma is complicated. One gets the sense that he loves her- or thought he did, once- but more than anything, feels that pull of responsibility toward her. He feels similarly about his daughters. While Jack ultimately pays the ultimate price for their relationship, Ennis is similarly a man in prison: a prisoner of his own life and his own time. 

Best Quote: "If you can't fix it, Jack, you gotta stand it. We gotta stand this."


2) Clementine Kruczynski (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)

     In a movie dedicated to the beauty and tragedy of forgetting, Kate Winslet has created a character who is memorable in the best way. Though usually cast in costume dramas, playing witty, posh characters in corsets, Clementine is the very definition of a modern woman. She is artistic, absent-minded, stubborn, impulsive, and creative. She is that rare being who seems to step into a room and immediately become its focus. When she meets Joel Barrish, an introverted loner type who seems to trudge through his life on autopilot, she immediately brightens up his existence. This sounds like the ever-exasperating "Manic Pixie Dreamgirl" trope, in which an impossibly quirky girl exists purely to show a broody male character how wonderful life is or how to loosen up. (See: "The Perks of Being a Wallflower," "500 Days of Summer," "Garden State," etc.) But Clementine is all too aware of that trope, and flatly rejects it. She reserves the right to be who she is and wear bizarre thrift store t-shirts and drink too much and dye her hair a new color every week without it being for the Joel's thrill and wonderment. This isn't to say she isn't flawed- everything Joel loves about her is also, ultimately, that which exasperates him, and as in real life, there are fights and threats and broken promises to go around. Clementine is vitally alive, and she's one of my favorite creations of stage or screen. 

Defining Quote: "Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked up girl whose lookin' for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours."



1) Scarlett O'Hara (Gone with the Wind, 1937)

     Ah, Scarlett. That most polarizing of figures in modern literature and film, that so many women hail as a feminist hero and others downplay as a heartless bitch not worthy of the title. Since I was a teenager, I have been fascinated with Scarlett and her remarkable journey, not just through the American Civil War and the loss of her civilization, but her emotional journey. At the film's outset, Scarlett is a spoiled, willful southern belle who is utterly fixated on a man who belongs to another woman. Stubborn, vain, and utterly self-involved, she is convinced that any man who isn't in love with her can and should be with proper coaching, and so is all the more stumped when the object of her desire, dreamy-eyed and vacant Ashley Wilkes, seems to reject her at every turn.
      The tale of Scarlett, which follows her from the age of 16 to the ripe, old age of 28, is essentially told in three acts. Until the fall of Atlanta, Scarlett is a singleminded, conniving young woman who resents and dislikes the role society has thrust upon her, but also clings to it. ("How women clutch the very chains that bind them!" exclaims well-traveled, enlightened Rhett Butler.) She dislikes the notion that men do not value intelligence in a woman, dislikes still more that in order to catch a husband (that most important of all duties for a young girl,) she must severely downplay the amount of intelligence she has. She is also remarkably shortsighted. She fancies life to be much more fun as a single belle while simultaneously recklessly pursuing marriage to Ashley Wilkes, never making the connection that if she did marry him, she would be considered a matron and be expected to give up on all the fun, flirtation and parties of single life. The same is true of her hasty and ill-considered marriage to Charles Hamilton. In her rush to hurt Ashley for rejecting her, she doesn't actually understand that she will now be a married woman, and expect to behave and comport herself as such. These impulsive, reckless decisions characterize Scarlett's life, and her complete lack of self-reflection or capacity for insight prevent her from making better choices. She dislikes other women, seeing them only as competition for the attentions of men, and in my view, would resent the label of a feminist hero solely because Scarlett never cared about the fate or success of all women- just herself.
     After the beginning of the war, Scarlett's soft, sheltered world completely collapses. She loses her mother to death, her father to senility, and her home and safety to the Yankees. She goes from being a petted princess to the family patriarch in one blow, and now must find some way to survive a world she was not raised to live. This second act, Survival Scarlett, shows us how deeply poverty, cold, hunger, death, and lack of security can affect a person, and how much they can rend asunder the person you once were. Scarlett is frequently described in the novel during this time as having "the look of a hungry cat," and having "eyes you expect to see over a pair of dueling pistols." With no one to keep her temper in check and the wolf permanently at the door of Tara, Scarlett becomes bitter, hard, resentful, dropping the manners and prim virtues of her society as luxuries she cannot afford anymore. Though Georgian society has always thought of Scarlett as "a flighty bit of baggage," as one neighbor snips, this animalistic streak in Scarlett begins to pry open the void that will characterize the third act.
 













Monday, May 9, 2016

Game of Thrones Season 6- Tri-Episode Review

          Well, the best show on TV has been back on the air for 3 episodes now, and MAN has it been a ride. A beloved character rose from the dead. A whole bunch of other characters have been rather unceremoniously (or with lots of ceremony) killed off. There are subplots spinning all over Westeros, so many that it's often hard to keep up with, and it feels like they're all slowly but surely hurtling toward some inevitable conclusion that will seem obvious once it happens, but which I couldn't possibly guess now.
         So far this season, everything is a bit backwards. I have always been a huge fan of almost all the scenes in King's Landing, particularly if they revolve around Olenna Tyrell, Cersei, or Tyrion, but this season, all of those characters seem to have shifted to less substantial plot. Dany's isolation from the rest of the plot is keenly felt, possibly more keenly felt than ever before, and it's honestly hard to imagine where she's going from here. And BRAN, of all people, is currently in the subplot that is most likely to revolutionize the series. (BRAN. Yes, really!) Let's take a look at where our characters are, and what that may mean, shall we?

In King's Landing:
      As much as I was hoping for Jaime to return sheepishly from Dorne with his dead daughter/niece in tow, rightly fearing Cersei's wrath and vengeance ("YOU HAD ONE JOB, JAIME"), Cersei's SlutWalk of Shame seems to have defeated her just a bit. She greeted her daughter's corpse with heartbreak and oddly un-Cersei-ish self reflection, and she and Jaime seem to have reunited stronger than ever. Both of them are feeling pretty powerless. Technically Cersei is not the queen anymore, and therefore is nothing more than Lady Cersei of House Lannister, despite how desperately she clings to the idea of queen-ship. (Grandma Tyrell gets her first saucy one-liner of the season in while pointing this out, saying, "You are not the queen. You are not married to the king. I know these things get confused in your family.") The Faith Militant are all but running King's Landing, with Cersei still facing trial, Margaery and Loras still locked up, and the High Sparrow still holding the reigns as Most Passive Aggressive Person in Westeros. Last night's scene of Tommen mustering his courage to exert his kingly authority in the sept was beautifully executed. Tommen marches up on the Sparrow while he prays, and the camera holds on the old man's face. We see him deliberately deciding how to handle this, and then when he rises, he has a plan that completely bowls the boy king over. Tommen, though remarkably good natured, is easy enough to manipulate, and this whole thing may end up with Tommen turning on his own family for this seemingly-snuggly grandfather figure.
        The lingering plot thread in King's Landing is Cersei's trial, which she plans to do as a trial-by-combat with the help of her new FrankenMountain. (Thus far, the FrankenMountain exists to stare people down, smash shit-talkers' heads in, and generally be funny and enjoyable. We haven't seen his horrific face so far, but I'm sure that grisly helmet will come off at some point.) It has been highly speculated that someone will resurrect the Hound (if he was ever dead in the first place) and there will be a great battle between Sandor and Gregor Clegane, which sounds just amazing. Let's have that happen, mkay?
      What will become of Margaery, Loras, and Cersei? Will Tommen turn on his own family to support the Sparrow? Will Tommen make it out of this season alive? (I'm thinking.... no.) Time will tell.

The Wall:
     Unlike every other season so far, the Wall has been a fascinating place. Jon Snow was last seen in Season 5 lying dead in the snow, but is promptly resurrected by the Red Woman in episode 2 of this season. Last night, we got to see how death (and subsequent life) has effected Jon. The shot of him literally rising from the dead, breathing with difficulty, was wonderfully done. Jon remembers what happened to him, and also remembers that when he died, there was nothing. No heaven, no hell, no nothing, just darkness. This more than anything seems to profoundly alter him. He did what he felt was right and was killed for it, and after his death, was faced with nothingness. Last night, he completed his business with the Watch once and for all. He executed his murderers, and then handed his cloak off to Dolorous Edd and basically said, "Fuck this, I'm out."
      Technically, Jon has fulfilled his vow. The Night's Watch's vows only extend until one dies, and Jon has died. (Something tells me that the Watch's lawyers will be frantically adding Resurrection Clauses this morning.) So where does he go now? What does this mean for the Wall, which has not only the straggling few members of the Watch left, but a hoard of Wildlings that Jon saved from certain death? Plus, THE WHITE WALKERS ARE COMING. We know this to be true. Does the task of saving the seven kingdoms now fall to Dolorous Edd? (We're doomed.)

The Woods Near the Wall:
     So guess who is headed toward the Wall? Sansa, Brienne, and Podrick! They're all going to the Wall, having narrowly escaped the Boltons, and are hoping to reunite with Jon Snow. It's unclear at this point whether or not Sansa and Jon will actually reunite (Thrones wouldn't be that kind to us, I'm afraid.) Perhaps Sansa will recruit the Wildlings to help her run the Boltons out of Winterfell? Maybe she and Jon both will run the Wildlings out of Winterfell? (We can still hope!) The Wildlings do owe Jon a significant debt, and he's the type of guy who would allow them to live on the North's lands free and in peace if they did this for him and helped he and Sansa reclaim their childhood home. (The Red Woman did say that she "saw Jon at Winterfell" in the flames, and we know she's at least partially right about things now!) Plus, someone has to get smug, douchey Ramsay Bolton out of there. And speaking of Ramsay....

Winterfell:
          Ramsay is now singlehandedly running Winterfell, having stabbed his father in the chest upon learning that Lady Walda's baby was in fact a boy. (RIP Roose Bolton. For all that he was an awful guy, he was a great character, and I personally feel he deserved a more climactic death.) Ramsay has never been a subtle guy, and decided to dispatch his family quickly and without much forethought. Something tells me that Roose Bolton survived so long by being patient and calculating as well as evil, whereas Ramsay's impetuous, insecure type of evil won't keep him around too much longer. But bnow, Ramsay has a bonus: Rickon Stark! Apparently the members of House Umber got tired of babysitting Rickon for the last however many years (last time we saw Rickon he looked like he was about 6- now he looks like he's about 16) and just decided to dump him off at the Boltons. Is this some sort of setup? Has House Umber truly turned on the Starks, or does the North truly remember, and they're planning to take down House Bolton from the inside out? Also, if Rickon, Sansa, and Jon all end up reuniting, I will literally cry for joy. For his part, Ramsay also really wants to get Sansa back, since having a child with her is the key to keeping the North with some real legitimacy, so if Sansa and a Wildling army decide to attack Winterfell, it will be a great personal risk. My, the stakes are high here.

Braavos:
      Thus far, Arya's storyline this season has involved her being blind and getting knocked around a lot. Apparently when you steal from the Hall of Faces (as Arya did last season) the penalty is to have your eyesight removed and a mean blonde girl beat the shit out of you for a few hours every day. They are still relentlessly trying to transform her into No One, and last night we had something akin to a Rocky Training Montage of Arya playing the Game of Faces, losing, getting knocked around, and then winning and proving equal to, if not victorious over, the Waif. So what does Arya being No One mean? What kind of bearing will it have on the plot as a whole? One can hope that she's sent to murder someone on her list, like Cersei or Walder Frey, but so far, it's hard to tell where her plot- so disconnected from everything else going on- is taking her. I'm encouraged by having her become No One so early in the season. Maybe that will mean that we'll be treated to another glorious Arya Revenge Kill by the end of the season. (RIP Meryn Trant.) And speaking of weirdly disconnected plots...

Vaes Dothrak:
       Dany's subplot has taken her to Vaes Dothrak, where she dropped off at the Dosh Khaleen, a sort of eternal knitting circle for wives of dead khals. Most of them go there immediately after the death of their spouse, but Dany has defied this tradition by going out and becoming Queen of Meereen and Mother of Dragons and all of those other things. Here, Dany's many self-imposed titles make her seem nothing short of "too big for her britches," as we say in the deep south, and the only thing that may hold this plot together would be for her to be legitimately humbled in some way. After all, her reign as a slave-freeing conqueror hasn't gone well so far. (More on that in a bit.) Now, she has to prove herself worthy to be part of the Dosh Khaleen through some sort of ceremony wherein all the Dothraki hoardes come together and have a meeting about Where to Attack Next. Ser Jorah and Daario NeHaris are out there looking for her, so maybe they'll find her and rescue her and that will be that, but that would render this subplot all but useless. For all Thrones' general excellence, it does have a tendency to do dead-end plot cul-de-sacs just to keep the actors around for a little while longer until the real plot picks up (examples: Craster's rape hut. Dorne. Dany's adventures in the Place Where her Dragons Where Stolen.) This would be a huge waste of a Daenerys plot, unless the showrunners have some sort of brilliant key in their pocket we don't know about. We'll see. (Also: Ser Jorah has greyscale. I guess that will matter somewhere along the way.)

Oldtown:
     Just last night, we learned that Samwell Tarly is sailing to Oldtowne to be a maester, but he wasn't exactly honest with Gilly about where she would be staying in the interim. Apparently, Gilly and Baby Sam are bound for Horn Hill, Sam's childhood home, where she'll be staying with his kind mother and sister and his not-so-kind father Randyll Tarly. We haven't yet met Randyll Tarly, but I've heard he's a ruthless military commander with a strong presence in the books, so we'll see if that comes to play in any way here. I read that House Tarly is sworn to House Tyrell... perhaps Gilly will have a first hand view of Margaery's trial? Is Gilly going to King's Landing?

The Pyke:
     The Greyjoys seem to pop in and out of the story at random moments, and this is one of their moments in. I frankly had forgotten that Balon Greyjoy was even a part of the War of Five Kings, much less that he was one of the presumptive kings, and he met a pretty anticlimactic end in episode 2. His brother Euron showed up and flung him off a rickety bridge to his death, in a scene that left me more wishing that all the Greyjoys would just go away more than anything. Apparently Euron is going to be central to this plot now, for all that he appeared out of nowhere, and apparently he and Yara Greyjoy will be forced into a semi-democratic campaign to determine who will be King in the Iron Islands and ruler of the Pyke. Also, Theon is headed that way for some reason. The Greyjoys suck.

Meereen:
     Remember how we were talking about Daenerys and how generally fail-tastic her attempt at free Slaver's Bay has been? Well, last night we found just more proof that conquering is easier than ruling. The Sons of the Harpy, rebels who have been attempting to overthrow Dany and return all former slaves of Meereen to chains, are being funded by cities she's previously overthrown: Yunkai and Astapor. Apparently, the masters of those cities didn't take to being tossed around by Dany's dragons and Unsullied, and not only have regained their power as slaveowners, but have been sending money to the Harpies as well. So now Tyrion is left trying to figure out how to fight the Harpies, with the aid of his trusty spymaster Lord Varys (as silkily manipulative as ever) and the odd couple duo of Missandei and Grey Worm. Almost every scene Tyrion has been in this season has been one of the worst of the episode, and last night's scene of him trying to engage these two strictly-business individuals in a conversation was the worst of them all. It's not because of Peter Dinklage. He's great. It's just hard to see how any of this will benefit Tyrion in the long run, or what it will mean to the overall plot. Plus, frankly, it's hard to care about Meereen.


Friday, April 22, 2016